Roving Reporter with the Cat Lady
by Ron Kurtus (5 May 72)
REPORTER: This is your roving reporter here in front of the Ajax Pet
Shop. They have some rather cute puppies in the window, chewing on
a pair of old shoes. Oh, oh. I guess they'll have to find something
else to chew on, because the man just walked away. +
Well, anyway, we our doing our man-in-the-street interviews right
outside of the Ajax...Oh, here comes somebody now... Oh ma'am. Ma'am...
LADY: Are you talking to me, sonny?
REPORTER: I'm the roving reporter, ma'am, and I'm interviewing the
various people on the important issues of the day.
LADY: My goodness gracious me. Is this television?
REPORTER: No ma'am, we're on the radio right now. This mechanism I'm
holding in my had in a microphone.
LADY: My goodness me. And I was just in the pet shop buying a cat.
REPORTER: Would you care to answer out question of the day?
LADY: See, he's in the basket here. He's a cute little fellow, isn’t
he?
REPORTER: Oh, yes. Charming. Now the question of the day is...
LADY: Question?
REPORTER: Yes. I'm going to ask you our question of the day; What
do conflict? And do you think that the inter trade of stuffed olives
is an essential issue?
LADY: (silence)
REPORTER: Well? What is your opinion on this important matter, madam?
LADY: I was just thinking... I wonder if he should have company.
REPORTER: Ma'am?
LADY: My new cat. I wonder if I should buy a playmate for him. Cats
don't like to be along, do you know that?
REPORTER: Sure, go ahead. Buy two, if it makes you happy. Now as far
as this question goes, what is your opinion
LADY: But then again, cats do make such a mess, and two would mean
twice the work for me.
REPORTER: Ma’am, we're doing our man-in-the-street interviews
right now and we'd like your candid opinion on this important question.
LADY: Is this candid camera?
REPORTER: Oh boy! No Ma’am, we're on the radio right now. So,
what is your opinion on this recent peace proposal?
LADY: (silence)
REPORTER: Ma'am? Your opinion?
LADY: Yes, I've made up my mind. I'll bring this cat back and get
a puppy instead. Thank you for your help, young man.
REPORTER: I tell you, some days I wonder why I have this stupid job.
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