Roving Reporter with the Spinster
by Ron Kurtus (6 May 72)
REPORTER: This is your Roving Reporter here near the Bullworth office
building, and I'm making my man-in-the-street interviews today with
the various people going in and out of this building. There are many
businessmen, secretaries, clerks, typists - people from all walks of
life - passing by. Here comes a likely prospect for my question of
the day. Oh sir. Sir...
MAN: (Abrupt, business-like) Yes. What can I do for you?
REPORTER: I'm the Roving Reporter, sir, and we're interviewing the
various people in front of this building today.
MAN: Yes, yes, yes. Very interesting. Well, I'm sympathetic with your
cause, but I already gave at the office.
REPORTER: But sir...
MAN: I'm a very busy man. Good day.
REPORTER: Well, that's too bad he was so busy...but, ah... oh, here
comes somebody. It's a woman in her early forties, dressed in an effIcient
gray suit. Wait a minute... she may be even in her early thirties...
or maybe late twenties... it's hard to tell. Well, anyway... oh ma'am.
Ma'am... Ma'am!
LADY: (Bothered) What do you want?!
REPORTER: Excuse me ma'am, but I'm the Roving Reporter, and I'm interviewing
the various office workers in this area.
LADY: Oh, excuse me. I just thought you were some smart aleck flirt.
You find so many of them hanging around this building. But I just ignore
them and their wolf-whistles. You know a girl can't be too careful
these days.
REPORTER: Yes, I know what you mean. And I'm sure that many men whistle
at you.
LADY: Why thank you.
REPORTER: (Under his breath) Yes, I'm sure.
Well, anyway, would you care to answer our question of the day?
LADY: Does your...wife... have trouble with men whistling at her?
REPORTER: No, I'm not married.
LADY: Oh...oh...oh. Well, neither am I.
REPORTER: Now the question of the day is---
LADY: (Appologizing) I don't usually talk to men I haven't been introduced
to, but since you are a reporter...
REPORTER: Yes. Now my question is: There has been a movement lately
to get rid of violence on television, and most people agree with this.
But what do you think about having sex on television?
LADY: My, you certainly do come right to the point, don't you? Well
I like that in a man.
(To herself) In fact, I like anything in a man.
(Back to Reporter) Well... ah... sure! Just a minute, and I'll go
tell my boss I'm taking the rest of the day off.
REPORTER: No, no. I mean about seeing it on television.
LADY: Well, whatever turns you on.
REPORTER: I'm not sure you understand what I mean.
LADY: The heck with telling the boss. I'll just phone him from your
place. Now, kiss me, you fool.
REPORTER: Please ma'am...(Kiss)...Please.
LADY: (Ecstatic) Oh, I know you're as excited as I am. Come on, let's
get out of here. Where's your car?
REPORTER: (Desperate) This is your Roving Reporter...plaese ma'am,
let go... this is... ma'am! Please. I'm trying to talk cn the radio...
Helllpp!
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