1807 Paterna Rd Santa Barbara, CA
Helen Reddy Show - Opening Monologue
by Ron Kurtus (1973)
ANNOUNCER: And here's the star of our show -- Helen Reddy!
REDDY: (sings opening song)
REDDY: Thank you so much... Thank you...
Say, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the studio today,
A bum came up to me and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks... so I
Let, me tell you that this traffic in Los Angeles is something else.
But I don't worry. I've got a new invention on my car. If I'm caught
in a traffic jam, I just press a button, get out... and peddle my bicycle
the rest of the way.
But you know, I'm not used to working here in beautiful downtown Burbank...
(snicker from audience)
Today I saw panhandlers, traffic accidents -danger on every
corner. I was glad to get indoors so I could breathe safely. In fact,
with this smog, I'm just glad I can breathe!
(laughter, then applause)
Yesterday I received some bad news from back home. One of my
cousins had swallowed a live frog.
Don't laugh... the letter said he was so sick that he was liable
to croak any minute.
Well, we've got a great show lined up for you tonight, with some exciting
guests, fantastic sounds, and some good clean fun to top it off. You
know what good clean fun is, don't you? That's a couple taking a bath
No... no, just kidding folks. We're not going to have anything like
that on the show.
(moan from audience)
Instead, we're having guests like the Three Dog Night.
(applause and screams)...
and a little old gypsie who is able to read fortunes without using
the tea leaves... she reads the lemon!
So just sit tight, and after these short sixteen announcements from
we'll be right back with our show...