Cinderella's Pals
by Ron Kurtus (5 Feb 1971)
NOTE: This is a skit I wrote when Wally and Jean were visiting Hjalmer
and Margaret. It was similar to the skit we had done New Years Eve
1971, that was so funny. Unfortunately, Wally's mind didn't work too
well from all the drinking he did, and he screwed up the taping of
the skit.
CAST:
- Muggs and Jean are the Wicked Stepsisters
- Hjalmer was Cinderella
- Ron was the Good Fairy
- Wally was the Handsome Prince
(This story is true. Only the facts have been changed to protect
the innocent. The story happened years ago in a small cottage in a
town known as Duluth. Yes, believe it or not, the town is called Duluth)
Muggs: Cinderella: Cinderella, come here immediately.
Jean: Yes, hurry up you meathead! We've got to get ready for the prince's
ball. I want to be especially beautiful, so that the prince will dance
all the dances with me.
Muggs: No, I'll be the beautiful one who he will sweep off
her feet.
Muggs and Jean: Cinderella!
Hjalmer: Coming, wicked stepsisters.
Muggs: Where have you been, you lazy banana-head?
Hjalmer: I've been cleaning the outhouse, like I was told.
Jean: That place better sparkle, when I go in there next time. Did
you put some new reading material in there, in case we have guests
over?
Hjalmer: Reading material?
Jean: The Sears catalog, you dummy!
Hjalmer: Yes, wicked stepsister.
Muggs: Now help me with this dress so that I will look beautiful for
the prince's ball.
Jean: And help me fix my hair so that I will look even more beautiful
for the prince's ball.
Hjalmer: I heard he's a real dreamboat.
Jean & Diggs (angry): Cinderella, get to work!
(Later that evening, after the wicked stepsisters have left for the
ball, Cinderella is sadly sitting by herself, paging through the Sears
catalog. Then suddenly she sees a bright light and somebody enters
the room.)
Hjalmer: Who the hell are you, buster?
Ron: I'm your magic fairy.
Hjalmer: From the looks of that outfit, I'd say you sure are.
Ron: Oh, silly. I'm here to make you beautiful so you can go to the
prince's ball.
Hjalmer: I thought you looked familiar. Arent you Mr. Leo, the hairdresser?
Ron: No time for chitchat now, sweetheart. We've got to get you ready
for the ball. First, you take a shower, while I fix up your dress.
Hjalmer: But I took one last year.
Ron: Sniff, sniff. You're telling me?
Hjalmer: OK, I'll take the hint.
(Meanwhile, at the ball, everyone is having a dandy time)
Wally: Hey, cutey. How about tripping the light fantastic with me?
Jean: Oh, Mr. Handsome Prince, I'd love to.
Wally: You don't have to be so formal, tomato. Just call me handsome
prince. What's your name?
Jean: I'm the wicked stepsister.
Wally: That's unusual. I just danced with a tomato with the same name
a little while ago.
Jean: Is that the one over there? She's my sister.
Wally: Yeah, that's the one. Hey, cutey. How about tripping the light
fantastic with me?
Muggs: Oh, Mr Handsome Prince, I'd love to.
Wally: You don't have to be so formal, tomato. Just call me handsome
prince.
Jean: Hey, what about me?
Wally: Flake off, Charley.
Muggs: You heard what he said. Beat it.
Hjalmer: Hey cutey. how about tripping the light fantastic with me?
Wally: Hubba, hubba. Now there's a girl that speaks my language.
Muggs: Hey, what about me?
Wally: Flake off, Charley.
Hjalmer: You heard what he said. Beat it.
Wally: Honey, your the cat's pajamas.
Hjalmer: Oh, you like my outfit? Mr Leo, my magic fairy made it for
me.
Wally: Where is that fruitcake?
Hjalmer: He's standing right over there.
Wally: Hey cutey. How about tripping the light fantastic with me?
END
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